Engineer Levels

We've all heard about them - junior, senior, IC1, SWE3, etc. But what do they really mean?[1]

IC1 / Junior

A rock.

No, seriously. You can give them some tasks to hold down and they'll do a marvelous job, but anything large is beyond them. Without constant tending and supervision they'll be a rock forever.

On the other hand they're everywhere and they're cheap.

IC2 / Junior Developer

Just as the first land-animals crawled out of the primordial ooze so too were IC2s left behind to wallow in filth.

Able to think independently (more-or-less) these developers can be farmed in great numbers using simple cubicles and strategically placed coffee machines.

Not to be confused with Code Monkeys, these developers are still satisfied being paid in peanuts.

IC3 / Software Developer

Ooh-bi-doo, Can learn to be like you, too[2]

Easily identified by their hoodies and dual monitors, mentioning anything trivial such as programming languages or IDEs in their presence will lead to much excitement and excrement flinging.

With dreams of moving upwards and a disdain for those below some of these developers can easily become poisonous and should be carefully avoided.

IC4 / Senior Software Developer

Think they're better than everyone else - and why not? They literally know everything! They've seen it all - all the patterns, all the mistakes, all the war stories.

Woe be the IC3 that dares question a design drawn up by a senior.

Shadowed by gigantic salaries and a love of documentation these engineers are generally the powerhouse of the cell organisation.

IC5 / Architect

Demands an office simply as a status symbol as they're typically only ever glimpsed stalking the hallways between meetings.

Mythic figures who divine the tablets passed from the C-levels and translate them into projects to be implemented by the seniors.

Summoned by the sound of calendar invites they're likely to have an unread inbox greater than five digits.

[1]This will be a heavily satirical article. Fun police please don't arrest me!
[2]Jungle Book, look it up